Ok, so it's not that bad.
I never get sick. Well, hardly ever. Ok...not very often at least. I have the immune system of a really hardy house plant and typically enjoy the benefits of robust health. But then, every once in a blue moon (mmm...Blue Moon), disaster strikes and I am suddenly rendered absolutely useless.
With the exception of the ability to complain, of course.
I'm a bit sicky today, or as my mom would say, "Feeling punky." I never really understood how punky equated to illness. Should I dye my hair purple and wear black lipstick to truly express my physiological state? I'm not above that. Sickness destroys me, it annihilates me. I disolve into infancy and can do nothing but mope around and breathe heavily, sometimes changing position on the couch to prevent bedsores. Sometimes not. I drink indeterminate volumes of Diet Coke to soothe my aching throat and read a more readily determinate, but far larger, number of pages of Harry Potter.
Ok, I'd be doing that anyway.
But it feels more indulgent to say I'm wasting my day reading a childrens book while depleting our stock of Diet Coke due to general malaise.
Oh, and I don't like taking medicine. At all. It's like admitting defeat. I will protest the consumption of medicinal goods until I'm so weak with fatigue that my in-home health care provider (i.e. anyone I live with who is developing facial ticks and rapid sweats each time I blow my nose loudly with intermittent heavy sighing. Hi Husband!) needs only to slip a pill into my gaping and unmoving mouth, pour in a measure of water and hold my nose and mouth shut until I'm forced to swallow. So, if I have taken medicine on my own volition (and sometimes you actually have to keep tabs of the number of pills to make sure I'm not lying...also not above that), like today, then it's the real deal. Something's up. In fact, I'll likely take some MORE medicine when I'm done writing this. A very bad sign, indeed. Sore throat, headache, congestion- begone!
Good thing this only happens a few times a year- if that. I fear any more frequent and I would be friendless and alone. I can hardly stand me when I'm sick.